pobre angelita (poor angel)

Poor little Jessa baby has a cold along with momma.  Did you know the natural cure for a stuffy nose is to squirt some breastmilk up her nose!  Worked like a charm and baby can breathe again!

Sleep Deprived

This sums up my life completely!  Oh I love you little Jessa but I don't love that you don't ever sleep!  I want to cry sometimes because I am so tired but I am wide awake when she sleeps.  Sometimes I wonder why I ever wanted to breastfeed, haha... eating on demand is killing me... but I know this is what's best!

So what are my mommy feats?

• Learning to breastfeed while sleeping sitting up and laying down asleep...
• learning to type one handed with a baby eating or sleeping on my chest
• learning to laugh when really all you want to do is cry
• eating faster than the speed of light
• being super prepared... never change a diaper without at least two diapers on hand (Jessa likes to pee on you if you are unprepared or leave her cold too long... haha J learned this the very hard way)
• crying whenever I see a commercial, tv show, or movie about a girl and her dad... I am so glad Jessa has mr. hubbins he really is a great dad!

Jessa our mini miracle (Birth Story)

It was just supposed to be a routine ultra sound to check Jessa's growth.  Dr. DL had assured me that because I was a heavier girl I would just have a littler baby around six pounds.  So when my 32 week ultrasound showed Jessa was small I was told it was nothing to worry about but  I should have clued in the week before at my week check up when I was down 2 pounds that something was awfully wrong with my baby and that she needed to come out quick but I chalked it up to eating healthier.  Never again will I care about my weight in pregnancy it means nothing it is not important I now know I am beautiful any size I am.

To start off with Jessa's birth story I have to explain how we came up with Jessa's name first.  At the Relief Society March Celebration party they did the 10 virgins parable.  One of the names of one of the wise virgins was Jessa and it struck me so when I asked J about the name, he readily agreed on it.  It was the first name we agreed on with no humming and hahing about it.  When I looked up what the name of Jessa meant it was God Watches.  Jessa's meaning of her name has rang true of her whole birth and life.

On Tuesday night J and I finally installed Jessa's car seat, but because it wasn't fitting the way we thought it should mr hubbins suggested before my ultrasound to go to our friend Jessica's and get her to check it was installed correctly.  This week was different for us from the usual because J had training all week outside of town so when I dropped him off it seemed like everything would be okay.  I dropped J off and was planning on going to my ultrasound and then running errands to get ready for baby.  Our fridge was full of food to make into freezer meals for baby came and I was excited to finally be done school.  I dropped J off and went to go visit Jess before the ultrasound we made plans for me to return to her house after the ultrasound was done.  And I headed off to my appointment.  I arrived early so I downed some OJ to make baby move a lot more then she normally would and went to my appointment.

The ultrasound tech was a bit impersonal but I tried to make chit chat while she checked on Jessa.  But she got quieter and quieter as the ultrasound went.  She had me empty my bladder on 3 different occasions and I didn't get it.  She had me drink juice because she said the baby was sluggish but that didn't seem to help.  She left the room after a while and the radiologist came back in, he told me that they had called Dr. DL and were told that I needed to go to the hospital for another non-stress test but the way they said it I knew something was wrong.

I went out to my car and began to cry something was wrong and I knew it, so I called Jess and told her what was happening.  She told me to trust in the Lord because He knew what He was doing and she calmed me down and I headed over to the hospital.  Once getting there they hooked me up to the monitors and immediately started saying that baby wasn't happy and I would be most likely having my baby today.  They called Dr. DL again, and they told me as they wheeled me out of the room that I would be going for an emergency c-section because Jessa's heart rate was drastically dropping that she was now in danger.  I immediately started trying to get a hold of Jonathan and Jess.  Jess to get Jonathan and get him there to the hospital.  As I got upstairs to where they would be doing the emergency c-section Dr. DL was there he told me that he was there now and everything would be okay.  As soon as I saw my ob/gyn I felt a peace come over me even though tears poured down my face.  I was scared to do it alone but as I saw Dr. DL I just knew that this is the way it was meant to be.

As they wheeled me into the room they had me taking my clothes off and I had an IV put in with meds being pumped into me quickly.  I found out later they had given me oxytocin and a whole bunch of others things I said I was against and didn't want before I ever took the time to exhaust all my options of what labor would look like in all possible situations.  In getting to the c-section room they gave me an epidural and they waited as long as possible for J to get there but they had to go on without him.

I have learned that any silence in a medical situation is never a good sign because as my arms were strapped down and the curtain put up I was told my baby was born at 3:47 but when she came out it was quiet.  Immediately I heard the neo-natal nurses take Jessa away from me as Dr. DL got her out but there was no cry... nothing just silence.  A silence I didn't realize was there until I waited desperately to hear my baby cry.  It was 2 minutes later at 3:49 that Jessa finally took her first breath and uttered out a small cry.  Dr. DL told J later that Jessa had swallowed her melaconium(sp?).  She wasn't doing well but after she cried the nurses brought her over to me and I saw her.  Her eyes were piercing when I saw them and it was not a newborn spirit I was looking at.  I haven't seen the same piercing look since but I know that Jessa's spirit is strong and determined.  She has a special purpose here on earth and God is definitely watching over her.  Dr. DL went on to tell J that if we had waited any longer to have baby Jessa, she would have been still born... Jessa was meant to be here and the ultrasound was heaven sent. I'm happy my baby is okay.

After the c-section I heard that J arrived just after Jessa was taken out of the room and I was happy he was with her.  I didn't get to see Jessa until  8 hours later after we had been transported to a different hospital in the city that had a NICU.  Again I am grateful for Dr. DL for his miracles and magic.  He was able to get Jessa her own personal private room in the NICU and a bed for me.  The miracles kept happening because they told me after an ambulance took Jessa in a huge incubator to the other hospital that I would be transferred in the morning.  But a loving Heavenly Father knew my heart of wanting to be with my baby and an ambulance showed up to transfer me that night.  The nurses all commented on what a miracle it was for me to be transferred at night and I was taken over to the hospital.  It was at 11:53 that I finally could hold baby Jessa in my arms.  She is my precious miracle and I would go through it all again to have her in my arms.

 Poor Baby Jessa hooked up to monitors

(1 hour old)

Just home from the hospital! 

10 Days old. 

 Her dolly is bigger than her

Our little peanut getting chunky!!

  Finally Home from the hospital

(15 days old)

So I am trying to type with a baby laying on my chest who is finally asleep after a long 24 hours.  Baby Jessa has been up every hour hungry and fussy with gas so finally after talking to a great momma in our ward who told me just one simple trick to get rid of her gas, she is finally asleep.  Hallelujiah!  Peace has finally come and really I should have a nap but I thought it was important to update that Jessa is doing well.  She is plumping up and happy!  I really want to write Jessa's birth story but I am still trying to wrap my head around what has happened.

I was looking at the pictures of Jessa on J's phone last night and I broke down and cried.  I couldn't believe how lucky Jessa was and we were to have her on this earth when she looked so sick and tiny hooked up to IV's and other wires.  It is hard to look back and know that we were carried on the wings of angels both Jessa and I as we spent 240 hours in the NICU.  We were blessed with nurses who allowed me to kangaroo care her and latch on to practice breastfeeding as soon as we got there but it was not without trials and times of growing.  Hopefully when J gets home from work I can update on what happened of why Jessa came early and what happened but for now I still need to come to terms with what happened because I still can't fathom the reality of how close I was to losing my baby.

Arrival of my small but mighty baby!!

We are pleased to announce the birth of our beautiful baby girl:

Jessa Adriana Hope Cristancho

born April 25, 2012

at 3:49 pm

3 pounds 15 ounces

17 inches long

We are finally home after ten miraculous days in the NICU we are full of gratitude for all the prayers given on our behalf and know that Heavenly Father needed baby Jessa on the earth at this time.  A birth story will come as soon as Jessa and I have a bit more strength to stay on the computer for more than five minutes. :)