Stop and listen

I can't say it enough but I love being a mom to Jessa, she constantly teaches me by example the principles of the gospel and how I can develop a stronger relationship with Heavenly Father.  On Sunday Jessa and I had awoken early to get ready for church.  Jessa's enduring patience however was short that day and each time I would try to get anything done would result in a melt down.  The hour and a half before church came and went very quickly and we both weren't dressed, so I threw the towel in and turned on a session of general conference and we both cuddled back into bed.  Baby doll quickly fell into a deep sleep and I listeners to conference an the talks touched me in a way they hadn't before.  The whole day I felt on tune with Heavenly Father and all of these teaching opportunities came throughout the day.  Too many times I am too busy to stop and listen and I realized on Sunday that sometimes we need to really disconnect and tune out.  It was from Jessa's simple reminder that she needed my attention that I also needed to give that same attention to God.  As I did so and nurtured my relationship I learned more about who I was supposed to become.  Having my baby doll has really changed my life and she teaches me daily and through such simple means.

My doll baby

Jessa is such a sweet baby and truly my ray of sunshine.  Although today was a hard hard hard day with Jessa and it felt like a day that would never end something that made this day entirely worth it.  This morning Jessa and I had gone to Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries.  As we walked down the isles I noticed that Jessa would crunch up her sweet precious face in a smile and cheesy grin, as people would walk past.  Each person young and old, tough or sweet, male or female would laugh and smile.  I was shocked the most when we ran across a family twice, when Jessa did the same face to them.  The first time I had first focused on the mother and daughter and their responses to Jessa but the second time I focused on the husband; he was covered in tattoos and had on huge baggy clothes.  I wouldn't have taken him for a family man but the smile that covered his face and Jessa's response to him taught me that again we can't judge people by their appearances but the spirits that are inside of them.  Thank you my precious sweet doll baby for teaching mommy again how to love as a child does.

Sometimes maybe mommy should be put on timeout

Even after years of learning in university about teaching children and the developing child.. I have learned that each day I am still learning hard lessons about what it means to really truly become in tune with Heavenly Father's will.  Lately I have been exhausted... tired... and having a hard time getting Jessa to sleep without bouncing rocking swinging nursing singing and pretty much anything else you can think of.  I am not a fan of cry it out because frankly I don't love listening to babies cry and it hurts my heart knowing that a baby is crying and they would just stop if you held them.  So I researched and read about a method where you put the baby down calmly and leave the room... once baby starts to cry you go in reassure the baby and leave the room.  I did this with Jessa for probably an hour until she was so tired of waiting for me to pick her up she just cried in her crib each time I laid her down... I had read that if you pick them up it breaks the whole time you spent trying to prepare baby to be independent and so I tried to stick it out.  I stayed beside her and continually laid her down repeatedly as she cried and fussed so I rubbed her back and sang primary hymns while poor miss cried some more...  So I prayed and got the prompting that she was not ready.  Little miss J was to the point where her crying was starting to hyperventilate and so I picked her up and nursed her to sleep...  And truthfully I feel like the worst mom ever.  I hated doing that to try to teach Jessa to go to sleep on her own.  I hated that as I nursed her, my precious baby was so emotionally upset her whole body shook with heaving breaths as she tried to calm down.  Isn't there any other way of putting baby to sleep without the mess of cry it out?!  I am upset at myself because I went back and realized that it is a method of cry it out at shorter intervals.  That was not fair for Jessa or me... so it's back to the drawing board while I wallow over a cup of hot chocolate for being a bad mom.

But then as I think more about it today has been a trying day.  Jessa has decided that love biting mommy is very funny.  So today she sat in time out in her booster chair facing the wall but it sure didn't seem like a punishment as she laughed and played at banging at the wall.  I think it's just time for bed...

I Wouldn't Change It for Anything

Lately I have been trying to work past some unresolved issues from my past... I guess maybe that is why it taught me the invaluable lesson it did.  Last night I had numerous dreams of children I had gone to elementary school with and using Facebook I searched out a few of them using mr. hubbin's page.  Magically all of the students I had thought of were there.  So I clicked on their pages to see what they had accomplished in their lives.  Each one of them I was not shocked to find were all leading  the typical young "carefree" style life that is so popular... You graduate from high school skip university because it costs too much of your spending money, and travel and drink.  In high school there were some times where that had looked so cool to be one of the popular kids...I had wished that I could be popular but tonight I realized something.  My life might not be glamorous and my passport might say I haven't travelled in a long time, but as I see my baby cozily tucked in bed dreaming sweet dreams, my husband studying on the couch and I stepping on missed cereal pieces when I was cleaning made me realize I wouldn't have it any other way.  Children and families are irreplaceable.

No thanks, I'm stuffed!

Yesterday J and I shared a giggle at the supper table.  Jessa is totally on board with baby-led weaning but sometimes you have to trick her into eating because she wants what you have.  I was eating leftover stir-fry and I had made J some shrimp with spaghetti squash.  I was asking Jessa if she wanted some mushroom but I was looking in J's direction.  J promptly responded, "No thanks!  I'm stuffed!" and I started to laugh at J.  I told him that I was asking Jessa and we both laughed as we shared in the joke.

I love being a Mom!

I am so sorry it has been so long since I posted... life in the Cristancho household has been busy to say the least.  Nap times for the past four months have been used to study for university and other nap times have been used to cuddle Jessa in the fast fleeting moments as Jessa grows so quickly before our eyes.  It has been amazing seeing Jessa's personality blossom every day as she grows older and becomes more and more aware of her surroundings.  She is a quirky little girl that loves to laugh, although many people outside are home think she is very solemn but she just really loves to learn, watch and take it all in.

At the end of March, Jessa after lots of waiting and worrying started to crawl.  It occurred when Jessa and I had gone to Calgary to visit my mom so she could look after her as I wrote one of my Spanish finals.  Jessi, the beloved traveling cat, that we gave to my mom once I got pregnant was the only thing that encourage Baby J to be on the move.  Nothing motivated her other than the silly Jessi cat who would run away just out of arm's reach of Jessa.  I love that my mom has a cat that Jessa can call her own without us having to raise it.  Way to go baby Jessa.

Jessa is very motivated also by family, she really likes when people cheer her on and so as we visited J's parents they would clap and cheer for Jessa.  Little munchkin quickly caught on and now if you tella her, hooray! Applaudo! or Bravo!  She will clap and smile.

Now that we have just hit Jessa's one year mark... we share in lots of giggles along the way.
Recently I have been trying to jump back on the band wagon of working out and so often I will take Jessa to be my personal cheerleader as I workout.  J is very good about working out while watching Jessa so she sees often that man's way of working out.  After my long hiatus I decided to do some turbosculpt which is a 40 minute work out with weights.  Each time I would lift my weights, Jessa would groan and grunt as if she herself were lifting the weights.  I had to giggle as she made the noises for me as if she herself was lifting those heavy weights.

Jessa is a bit of a vain baby and loves to look at herself in the mirror.  She loves to make faces at herself in the mirror.  Lately her favorite face has been the "kiss face".  Now I am not familiar with the music of the band Kiss but I am familiar with the long tongues hanging out; and Jessa does just that.  A blah face in the mirror.  A cute head tilt to the side and a wave, a bang, and a giggle.  Jessa loves to entertain herself with funny faces in the mirror.  Jessa also loves to scrunch her nose up in the mirror and snort and shove her lips out where she touches them with her nose.  It has become her classic Jessa face and makes everyone around her giggle.

Jessa also really is quite the flirt she loves boys and the more they seem to look like her dad the better.  One day as we went to Walmart we had a cashier who was a boy with the same complexion, dark hair and eyes as J.  As he paid attention to Jessa she was quick to act coy, turn her shoulder towards him and tilt her head in a smile.  For some reason she just really was taken with this Cashier and really loved to make faces at him that brightened his day and made us laugh.  J was joking with Jessa that she was being a flirt but she was so happy to flash this guy a smile.

Last night in the bath tub I really got a glimpse of how my baby's personality was going to be as she blossomed into a little girl.  I was playing with Jessa as she was bathing and I kept making funny faces at her as I shot one of her baby doll bottles across the bath tub so it splashed her as it hit the water.  Jessa squealed with laughter as the water splashed her and it got to the point where two times she flew under the water because she was laughing so hard.  Her joy and delight in a simple game made motherhood worth it.  It made those hard times of teething worth every minute and second, and I am so happy for that.