It feels since my last post I have had no time to sit down and write. Life around here has been busy with move outs, showings, school work, surprise visits, visits from family and a birthday. Okay I'll admit I was just hesitant to write that I am officially an adult everywhere, I just turned the big two five. Seven you ask? You've got it! Jonathan's family on the weekend of the 26th and 27th came to visit. It was nice to celebrate my birthday with them and feel their love. Usually with my birthday in the middle of winter and being a bit of a drive away I don't usually get much of a celebration but Jonathan was a sweet mr hubbins and arranged it so all my family was here to celebrate with me in one way or another. Things have really changed since having Jessa in our family and I love it, there is just so much more unity, respect, and love. It is finally what I have always thought it should be.
This past weekend my momma and Terry came to visit and after my trying week with Jessa I needed a break. I basked in the opportunity to be relieved of a baby to have someone rock her to sleep and sneak in a couple of 30 minute cat naps when I just felt too tired to continue on. Being a mom has been such a learning curve for me and I am constantly learning. I now understand why Heavenly Father's purpose for us is to be married and have a family. It allows us to learn constantly and become more like Him. Tonight while I was bathing Jessa mr. hubbins asked if I could help him with an assignment and at first I told him that after I put Jessa to bed I could do that for him... and then I thought wait a second J can put Jessa to bed and it took a lot for me not to feel guilty about that. Ever since having Jessa I have felt as if I had to be super mom and it was taking its toll on me. I try to do everything with her from reading books, singing songs, playing games, have her interact with her peers, teach her to sign, make informed decisions that are in tune with the Lords, do the things that it takes to be a wife and mother, tutor, be a student, work, and all the other things that I do... and still be a good mom. I am so worried about my baby and so I try to teach Jessa everything she needs to know and I've learned Jessa is not a perfect child and I am not a perfect mother. No child is perfect... nor is any adult. To be truthful I find children are way more perfect than adults.
Actually on that note, it was interesting because I was really struggling with Jessa and her sleep and I was talking with a good friend of mine from church who has 7 children. She asked me a question that required me to stop, think, ponder and pray. The question was simple, why is there a pressure for Jessa to go to sleep at a certain time or with a certain schedule of once she's asleep she has to stay asleep? Upon reflecting on that, and throwing away my unrealistic expectation I am having a lot easier time. So that was the lesson I learned this week... sometimes it's okay to admit that I am not actually supermom.
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