I was always going to try to have happy and upbeat posts for everyone to read and I have really been trying but we are just having a really hard week. A lot of it just has to do with the stresses of life, J's hours got cut back at work and I have had the most miserable 3 days of university ever. I know I shouldn't have the attitude why me? But is it okay just for one day to wallow in self-pity. When stress comes, that is when everything seems harder than ever especially a marriage. So often I think we say the most hurtful things to the ones we love and just expect them to accept that it was a mistake and move on... but I realized today that words hurt just as much as anything else...
I am not talking about my marriage here and just wanted to clarify because I don't want anyone jumping to conclusions... but I don't care who you are or the position you hold in work or church or anywhere... it is never okay to take your anger out on someone else. Period. This sums up my last three days at university and dealing with a super unprofessional type A personality professor who decided that I was the target of her anger... I've really struggled with having the drive to go to university and be married and now it just seems so much more unachievable... Today I was told that it is super unprofessional to show up late for class because you have morning sickness... and thats when I had to say it's not like this is the plan I had for myself to get pregnant during university.... and that hurt.... That hurt as much as having to admit that life is hard and I am not perfect. This baby is a blessing and a surprise gift from Heavenly Father but the professor and her ways just really knocked me down... Summing up for a bad day and horrible professors... just wish sometimes that the bad days would end. So in the words of a small child told by Elder Quentin L Cook, "hope ya know, we had a hard time."
I am not one to usually have a plea for those to help us but if you could remember us in your prayers at this time it would be greatly appreciated.
2 comments:
You are in my prayers. I could totally relate to this post. I was married and with a baby when I went to post secondary schooling. The world's idea of what it important is SO far removed from what WE KNOW is important. That is for sure. The more I did what I knew what was right...putting family and marriage first....the more angrier the staff at the school seemed to get...and kept criticizing my every move it seemed. It finally dawned on me that they were just being the "devil's advocates". After that I just looked at them with pity. I pictured their home life as the saddest thing ever. That turn around didn't come easy for me....I really had to work hard at it......but just wanted you to know that I could totally relate to what you are saying. Hang in there!
My dear Love, You are wonderful and will make it through this trying time. You have the necessary strength and ability to overcome all challenges. You know what is right - just keep doing it. My prayers are always with you.
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