How Pregnancy and Motherhood change you

Life is so much different being a mother in a hard yet amazing way. As an individual you change it such a magnificent way and quickly but slowly all at the same time.  Your hormones change you from bring pregnant to facing foods that you once loved to not liking anymore.  Black olives was that for me; for the longest time I couldn't figure out what caused me to want to shove my plate away but it hit me one day when I popped one in my mouth and had to promptly spit it out again.  I used to have a temper my I had a temper and little by little have learned to leash it and reign it in.  Many prayers and pleas were given on account of my anger and I daily continue to ask that he shape me to be the mother and wife that he wants me to become.   You lose your mind being pregnant and it doesn't return after pregnancy.  Mr hub ins continually and patiently reminds me to do things that I have forgotten to do.  I struggle sometimes when school which used to be relatively easy for me became increasingly difficult and I have had to trust more in Heavenly Father to lead me guide me and remind me.  

Motherhood is not easy but it is most worth it.  It is a feeling that is indescribable and so fulfilling.  The past two nights as Jessa has struggled to sleep because she is in so muh pain with her mouth has let me bridle my passion that I could b filled with a greater sense of love. It has allowed me much time to reflect on passion and what it means and can do.  

I used to get really crabby when my sleep was ruined I am a person when I am tired or angry I get crabby and so being a mother teaches patience and an increase of love.   Lots of time when we hear the scripture bridle all your passions that we may be filled with love; we immediately think or chastity and virtue. But cannot we not look at it in another light of passion of emotion.  I have a negative passion of anger emotions and as I have curbed those feelings and bridled them I have come to show more love in my family. J and I argue way less often and disagreements rarely last longer than a normal fight should.  And I was thinking further for everytime there is a season and I think we need to feel all emotions from good to bad.  Anger in the appropriate form and way can push us to be better and do better but it needs to be bridled and lead in that direction.  I remember a talk by John Bytheway who spoke of that scripture in Alma.  He was using it in reference to virtue but again we can apply it towards anger.  Passion in the form of love is not bad or icky we need it so that we could all come to earth so we should not kill it but rather bridle it. A bridle is used to guide a horse in the direction that we need it to go and so with passion of anger it can be the same.  In ways anger can produce the results that you need such as driving you to become better in areas of weakness if indeed the bridle has been we to guide the anger in an appropriate manner.  Many times since having Jessa when I feel angry or upset I use that passion in y workouts and the result is fantastic as the anger melts away to be replaces with a sense of calm and peace.


The last couple if noughts have been hard as I have struggled to know how to help Jessa as the pain of her teeth hurt her.  In the past I know I woul have become angry with myself when I couldn't figure out the solution but I have come to realize that you have to roll with the punches embrace life as hardships come and know with a fact that Heavenly Father has it all taken care of and as we humbly seek him with patience and humility he will teach us the ultimate lesson of the importance of what motherhood means.  To again become like a little child and seek Him to guide us and direct us in the care of the little ones he has placed with us.