"Life is perfect for none of us.
Rather than being judgemental
and critical of each other,
may we have the pure love of Christ
for our fellow travellers
in this journey through life."
- Pres. Thomas S. Monson
Over the last couple of days, I have learned a great lesson about appearances and perceptions. Today we live in a world where perfection is encouraged and any difference found is discouraged. Wherever we seem to go wether we are walking, driving, riding the bus, or even being in our homes we are bombarded by the media on what society views to be acceptable or un-acceptable. The sad reality of life is that the pressure of society is to the point that if you don't act, think or behave in a certain way means that you are less of a person, or not as valuable.
I feel these pressures sometimes because of my weight and the comments people have made in the past about what I look like, and the shocking truth is most of it has been from the people who should be supporting me the most without passing the judgement. Throughout my pregnancy I have come to embrace the body that Heavenly Father has blessed me with, and have learned to celebrate the way my body has helped me during my pregnancy. But in order to get to where I have come today in my acceptance from my body has not been an overnight process.
A great lesson that is taught in the Old Testament is in 1 Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for theLord aseeth not as bman seeth; for man looketh on the outwardcappearance, but the dLord looketh on the eheart." As Christians we are taught that we always need to view others and judge righteously in finding ways that the Lord would someone else rather than look at them as we are taught to by society. Now I am usually out of the loop about what is going on in the life of celebrities because I find there are better role models I can look to for the confidence I need but here are some different occurrences that have helped me to realize that I need to love my body for who I am and how Heavenly Father sees me rather than how society views me.
A couple of years ago, Tyra Banks endured some vicious criticism by the media for the way her body looked in a bathing suit and her response was one that empowered me and taught me to believe in myself because what my body looked like did not define who I am. Here are her words, ""But for some reason people have a serious problem when I look like that. When I look like that. Luckily I'm strong enough and I have a good support system. I mean I love my momma, she has helped me to be a strong woman so I can overcome these kind of attacks. But if I had a lower self esteem I would probably be starving myself right now. But that is exactly what is happening to other women all over this country. So I have something to say to all of you that have something to say about me or other woman that are built like me. Woman that sometimes or all the time look like this, woman whose name you know, woman whose name you don't, woman who have been picked on, woman whose husbands put them down, woman that work or go to school. I have one thing to say to you, kiss my fat bum."
Society puts so much emphasis on appearance and the body and really doesn't allow anyone under the public eye from celebrities to you and me be safe from any judgements if our bodies don't look the exact way they are supposed to by society's standards. Elle a famous magazine, took two beautiful women and slimmed down their faces and bodies so they would look more "perfect" or more pleasurable for society. The first incident that I come across from this was Adele right after the grammys took place. She had been photographed on Elle to look like this:
When in reality we all know, she really looks like this:
Now I am not bashing Adele for the way she really looks, in fact I love that she has not conformed to society's pressures to force herself to fit the cookie cutter image that society has set. She was blessed with a gorgeous talent to sing and is using it to bless people's lives and she doesn't need some magazine brushing up her face to look more slender just to fit the image that society expects. Adele is someone who seems to have it together and doesn't allow society to belittle her for who she is based on the size of her body. And again that's where I learned that your body doesn't define your character or talents you are given in this life.
The next woman celebrity I am going to talk about is one I have admired for certain characteristics she has portrayed. Secretly, I think Jessica Simpson is a gorgeous person on the inside. Yes she may have made some mistakes in her life, but I am not one to judge. What I loved so much about Jessica Simpson is that she knew she was a role model for teenage girls and very publicly announced that she was saving her virtue until she was married as a young girl. In a day and age where that is not normal or even encouraged by many parents I admired her for that. Needless to say some things happened and some of the choices she made weren't ones I was very proud of for her but again with her accepting personality she taught me a lot about embracing my curves as a woman. Not long ago Jessica had a show entitled, The Price of Beauty where she travelled to different countries across the world to understand how womanhood was accepted there. The beautiful message that she learned through her experiences and what I learned through those experiences was that how we look again does not define who we are; in some cultures fat is beautiful, the bigger the better, and in some cultures curves are beautiful. It proved to me that again my body does not define who I am. So when I recently saw Jessica Simpson pregnant on the cover of Elle I wasn't shocked to see a beautiful woman who looked perfect during pregnancy. Again Elle made another round figured woman out to look like this:
But the other day when I was cleaning the house and had the tv on for background noise I noticed that Jessica Simpson was on The Ellen Show. Needless to say her face especially did not look like that but instead looked like this:
Now Jessica Simpson is gorgeous for me because of her personality, once you get over some of the ditzy quirks she seems to portray, but when I saw how she really looked it was like something in my mind clicked. If you ever have looked at pregnancy magazines which has become often for me as you sit in doctor's offices I have noticed just how perfect those pregnant mommas have looked, it really had me down at the beginning of my pregnancy. But as I realized that Heavenly Father does not categorize us based on success, wealth, or world recognition and we are all the same in His eyes that no one is exempt from how life really comes at us, I learned to embrace my body all the more. Jessica Simpson is gorgeous pregnant, round faced, and all. Adele is gorgeous round faced and all. Tyra is gorgeous, skinny, fat, short, or tall. The reason for all these women being beautiful is because like you and I they are all daughters of God.
I don't know why it took me seeing Jessica Simpson actually being round and pregnant to really accept my body for what it is but in doing so I love myself all the more. My baby may sit in funny positions making my belly look very lopsided some days but I have learned to embrace my body for the marvellous miracle that is taking place daily. There are so many wonderful women that I know who at this time in their lives are struggling to get pregnant, and my heart weeps for them because I know each and every one of them would be fabulous moms. So whenever I am having a hard time with accepting my body I try to remember the beautiful gift Heavenly Father has given me of allowing me to grow a beautiful baby and then entrusted me to raise one of His precious spirits here on earth; and that I have realized is more important than what size or shape my body is.
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