The Big M Word

“each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. … Harmony in marriage comes only when one esteems the welfare of his or her spouse among the highest of priorities. When that really happens, a celestial marriage becomes a reality, bringing great joy in this life and in the life to come.”- Elder Nelson

Yesterday I received a call from my visiting teacher and it was a nice surprise.  February had come and gone and so she asked if we could talk over the phone and she could share her message and I thought that this would be alright and so we chatted for about 45 minutes.  My visiting teacher has become a great friend to talk to and I love her visits for it's a really nice time to just have someone want to talk and listen to you with all judgments aside.

Well last night as we chatted, marriage came up.  My visiting teacher although probably about ten years older than I got married around the same time as I did and so it has been nice to talk about the changes that come into your life and have someone who is going through all those beautiful changes at the same time you are.  In talking she said she had noticed that the relationship between J and I had changed and things seemed different that we were closer and happier than when she first met us.  Somehow babies really change things and it is like there is a stronger resolution to draw nearer to the Saviour than ever before and fight harder against the adversaries of the satan.  Well that's how it has been for J an I anyways.

I really hate, and I know hate is a strong word, when people make out marriages to be fairytales and that you live happily ever after as soon as you walk out of the doors of the temple for it isn't that way.  I love being married with all my heart but it is a lot of work and takes a lot of dedication and self- discipline to look at your own faults and try to change rather than point out your spouse's faults.  As my vt and I were talking about marriage she said something that her brother had said to her that had a profound impact on my thinking and I thought it was important to share.  She started out by saying "my brother married a real piece of work, and I love her with all my heart, but sometimes she is really hard to get along with for our family.  So one day in talking to my brother about marriage he said something wise beyond his years.  He said we have been promised by Heavenly Father that the greatest blessings we receive here on this earth will come through the bonds of marriage.  So what this means is that the relationship we have with our spouse is going to be the most trying relationship we will have and the one where we will learn the most.  The relationship we have with our spouse will be the one that allows us to be refined by the refiner's fire and become the person that the Lord expects us and needs us to be."

Isn't that just awe-inspiring?  When you think about it that way and all the trials that come your way and often I have wondered in the past why me? why now? why us? and yet now it all seems to make sense.  My family has noticed a change about me and they say I have grown a lot.  I am less judgmental of others and strive to be more compassionate with my family and extended relations.  Marriages are a great blessing of the Lord.

Now I wasn't actually going to share this on my blog but today as I woke up to read scriptures on the LDS website I came across the article "Marriage can fulfill the Soul's most worthy yearnings" and found that it fit right into what has helped J and I in our past struggles.  I just love how it starts, "“Marriage is the shelter where families are created,” President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles says. “Marriage is yet safe, with all its sweet fulfillment, with all its joy and love. In marriage all of the worthy yearnings of the human soul, all that is physical and emotional and spiritual, can be fulfilled.”"


With baby cupcake coming soon I just found this quote and this lesson so profound.  In becoming parents we need to make our home a heaven here on earth and allow a shelter of refuge from the evils of the world.  I love being married and love how it has helped me to grow in numerous ways.  J is so special to me in my life and I love the time I get to spend learning about him more and striving to find ways to strengthen our relationship, home, and future family.  


So if you are having a bad day my words of wisdom are chin up, you're too young to have three! and just realize how much the Lord loves you and blesses you.  If you're not married don't stress or worry say I love you to your future spouse today by doing the things that will draw you closer to the Saviour.  For those of you who are married keep going :) the Lord will guide you as He needs you to grow for this is the greatest lesson I have learned in my small time of being married.