Finding the beauty

Lately I have found that I am falling into the negative thinking trap where I find it easier to find the bads about the day than the good.  As I was reflecting on this today I realized how truly blessed I am.  Today I feel honestly awful!!  It has been a long time where I have felt this sick and the desire to take medicine has never been so great in my entire life.  I don't like medicine and would rather take natural vitamins to heal my body but today with how much I hurt and ache I long for that ouch to go away.  But being pregnant I am trying to do it natural for my baby.  I keep thinking if I want to do it all natural on the day of I need to stick it out the rest of the way.  I am also deathly scared of holding my baby back from a selfish decision I have made when really I could have just stuck it out.

Now don't get me wrong I don't avoid medicines at all costs when I got a horrible UTI at the beginning of December I sucked up my pride and took antibiotics because I know I could put little miss' life in danger with how bad it was getting.  So I took the medicine and it hasn't come back thank goodness!  But today has been a day where I have honestly spent it sleeping.  I think I have maybe been up for a total of 3 hours and I feel absolutely horrible!  But as I was thinking about just how awful I was feeling, I realized how grateful I was for my hardworking hubbins.  Who allows me to study and be pregnant, and doesn't require me to work.  I am grateful that he understands what it is like for me to snuffle when I breathe, or just cry when he comes home because I just don't feel good, to have him cuddle me and let me sleep on his chest because I just need some extra love.

As I think about this blessing, I think about how blessed we are and that these miracles we have on a daily basis come straight from Heavenly Father.  Sometimes I think how are we ever going to make it but somehow we always manage to make it through on top, and closer than before.  I have realized how truly grateful I am for the gospel and how it allows us to be prepared for any situation we face and that when we fall and succumb to our natural ways that the Lord always forgives with generosity and allows us to come to higher ground.

So while I sound like an old man sleeping with every breath I take, with my nose bleeding all day off and on, and my body being so sore I just have to lie down to get past the pain I am filled with a greater gratitude of my blessings and what I have been given.  I have a home to live in and a hard working hubbins who gives me his all because he loves and wants the best for me and our little but soon to grow family.