Ever since I was little I have always battled with my weight and let me tell you I have tried various diets, I knew at a young age what it was like to have my weight yo-yo, to be told by doctors I was just TOO fat and that I needed to lose weight. Did that help me ever feel happy about myself to lose weight? I don't think so Joe! The fatter doctors told me I was the fatter I became as a result of the depression that would so easily beset me. But then one day I discovered a glorious workout called TurboJam and mixed with water and cutting my sugar cravings I dropped a whopping 75 pounds and it felt oh so good. I was happy with my body and so what happened to get where I am today? I stopped working out because I was stressed trying to balance a new life, struggling with cooking healthy on a student budget... and just a huge disruption of life made me slowly put the pounds back on. I wanted to lose weight to get back down and the month that I started working out again I found out I was pregnant and sick like a dog! So the weight stayed and people who I know love me but sometimes overstep their boundaries felt the urge to tell me to be careful about my weight during pregnancy. To eat healthier than I was and not to gain too much... I was even given some dr. berenstain diet or something or other. For the longest time I was beating myself up over my ever increasing pants line getting tighter and tighter on my stomach but the scale has only moved 2 pounds. But why I am on this kick all leads to the party I attended last night.
J is such a good husband and has told me I was beautiful any size I am. He started to make a joke about my small feet and juicy curves by lovingly nicknaming me penguin because of the way I move when I walk. I used to brush it off his "compliments" but I have started to really appreciate them because of how accepting I have become about my body. And so here is where my story actually begins.
Last night, I met a girl who is due 4 days before me who was graced with the perfect "magazine" figure she can eat 4 pieces of pizza and not gain a single pound. She has the beautiful perfect baby bump where her stomach protrudes at just the right amount and she was talking about how she can already see her baby's limbs move and feel which body part is sticking out when baby is super active. I have to admit I desperately wished I had that perfect little tummy the moment she was saying these things but then something changed where I became grateful for my expanded tummy and my baby. As the night progressed J kept asking me to sit down because I just kept standing by wherever he was sitting but I told him with everything pushed up I get really bad heartburn and it hurts to sit because sometimes it feels like baby is pushing against my ribs.
The husband of the other girl who was pregnant has overheard and turned to his wife and asked her if she felt the same way where it hurt to sit. She replied with, "it hurts to sit but it hurts my feet more to stand." And I was grateful that while it hurt to sit that I could stand and didn't have those aches and pains. It made me grateful I have been active and healthy throughout my pregnancy for the most part because this girl has struggled with gestational diabetes from the beginning. J likes to observe people and was watching this other girl and questioned her as she was forever scratching her tummy. She was kind of startled that mr hubbins had asked her about it and she replied with something like oh i forget I am even doing it most of the time. My belly just feels so itchy all the time because it feels so stretched out. This is when her husband chimed in that her belly was so stretched out that she no longer had a belly button. (It makes me laugh that men have no boundaries about things like this and offer up information for everyone to know even when the wife may not want it known.) So she lifted her shirt and showed us, her poor innie bellie button was definitely stretched beyond capacity and her m.i.l has predicted it will become an outtie.
Kay so not that I am trying to compare but my tummy has never itched with baby growing, I have just the right padding down there for baby to already have tons of room to move. I feel her body slam against me and make it known very clearly when I am crowding her space. But my little belly button is still definitely an innie and quite in there. And secretly as this poor girl woed about the downfalls of her pregnancy I rejoiced about my chubbiness. Now don't get me wrong I know that being over weight is NOT healthy and once I am not pregnant I am going to work out like a mad man with my turbojam and zumba but for now I rub my fat a little more lovingly! I am grateful for the extra padding that has made my pregnancy that much more juicy ;)
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