B means Bedtime

Being pregnant has been a roller coaster of emotions, changes, goals, dreams, and relationships all have their ups and downs.  One thing though that has never changed for me is my bedtime routine for the most part.  I have gone to bed earlier than before some nights and later than other nights, but it is always the same I need to have a bath before bed it just relaxes me and calms me down enough so that I can go to sleep.  But I have a secret... If I have to sleep by myself than I am in for a long long long night with very little sleeping going on.  Thankfully, J has not been working too many nights where I am home by myself but the nights he does work I literally have to stay up until I am so exhausted that my body finally breaks and sleep sets in.  Still at that point until he is home with me and in bed I don't get a very good sleep and wake to the littlest of noises.

I am such a baby I have come to learn because I thought how in the world did I sleep so many years by myself in my own bed but I came to realize I was never actually alone.  One great positive to growing up in a single parent home is there is more room in momma's bed.  This means that it is that much easier to be sneaky and get in there to sleep when momma's already dozed off.  I am not going to lie I would start out in my bed and in the middle of the night land myself in my momma's bed until I was twelve.  I loved having someone's relaxed breaths to match my own to as I fell asleep.  When it just became socially unacceptable to keep sleeping with my momma my new sleeping buddy became my meow kitty, and my relationship with him developed much the same way as mr. hubbins.  This sounds crazy I know but I loved my meow kitty and he meant everything to me, so at night he would wander into my room stretch out at my tummy, lay his head on my hand and go to sleep.  I spent the next seven years of my life sleeping with my baby meow but sometimes when he wouldn't sleep with me, much the same I would flip and flop all night because I didn't have an extra body in the bed with me to feel  their body or hear their breathing.

After my meow kitty died my new companion than  became my baby utchy pants, who really was our Terri poo Patches, he would sleep curled up in a little ball at the end of my bed and he would snuggle on in.  I would always put my feet near him or under him so that I knew he was always there and I could sleep soundly throughout the night.  I don't know why it is that I need someone else to sleep with me to get a good night's rest but I wouldn't be surprised if when baby comes out she is much the same way.  Aren't we given the parent's curse of what we did to our own parents is what will happen to us?  My mom spent nights rocking me to sleep on her chest because I would cry every time she would put me down.  I guess really at that time I was wanting much of the same of what I want right now, someone's breath to match my own to and become in sync with as I cuddle down for the night.

Now that I am nearing the end of my pregnancy, baby has become quite picky in the positions I fall asleep in.  I used to be a stomach sleeper but the rounder I have gotten I feel like I am sleeping on top of  a ball now, so I lay on my side which is convenient to cuddle that much closer to mr hubbins until he complains that he is too hot!  But baby cupcake makes it known quite quickly if I am raining on her parade and taking up her space because she will kick me until I move positions.  I think really she is just conditioning me for when she comes because I have learned to not move when I sleep now.  My mom taught me to lie still but now I don't even usually switch positions in my sleep, although this makes for a very stiff body in the morning.  I feel like an old lady as I roll out of bed from the side and hobble around until my muscles are all stretched out.  Bedtime and sleep for me is such a funny thing and I have seen lots of changes with my pregnancy that surround my bedtime.