Father in Prayer I'm Coming Now to Thee

Sometimes my prayers start out a little similar to:

Heavenly Father?

As I was washing dishes I was thinking to myself how hard this last year has been with my marriage and I thought for a long time how bitter I felt towards Heavenly Father for not being there and helping me.  I remember crying very bitter prayers questioning how God could do this to me when I had tried to be like the Saviour and do my best.  I remember crying so much and wishing that Heavenly Father would just give me an answer right then and there; pleading he would just tell me what was expected.  I ache with how I felt when I felt like He just wasn't there and slowly I stopped praying and reading my scriptures because if he wasn't going to answer than what was the point.  Today in church we had high council Sunday and I remember how one member of the high council had gotten up and said that the new stake presidency was challenging the north stake to prayerfully read from the scriptures daily.  There was no deadline, there was no pressure of what or where to read but just to read.  He pleaded that when members were having personal problems in their lives most feel into an unsinkable despair because they had stopped reading their scriptures and saying their prayers.

Lately I have tried to be more prayerful about the problems that are happening in my life and as I was washing dishes it struck me that Heavenly Father always answers and though it may not be on our time but His, He will always answer.  I then started to contemplate how many times has He tried to provide me an answer and I was just too busy to notice that he was answering or too busy trying to do it my way that I didn't wait for the answer I was supposed to hear.  I don't know why my marriage goes through spurts of being awesome and amazing and wishing that life could be like that everyday and then having some really hard times where you just need to stop drop and pray because it is the only thing you know will give you the answer to the problems.  So many times I just want to go to the people I admire and plead with them to tell me how they make it work but I have realized the person that knows both J and I the best is Heavenly Father and if I turn to Him and truly wait for an answer that it will come.  I hate the struggles that come into my life and it hurts when contention occurs and I just hope one day I will understand the purpose of the trials that are happening around me.  

I now have come to truthfully understand the words of a child's prayer and know that it isn't children who need to hear it but learn it then so when hard times come when we're big people who have a greater chance of faltering faith we will know that the Savior does hear our prayers and will answer us.  

A Child's Prayer

Heavenly Father, are you really there?
and do you hear and answer every child's prayer.
Some say that Heaven is far away,
but i feel it close around me as i pray.

Heavenly Father, i remember now,
something that Jesus told Disciples long ago.
Suffer the children to come to me,
Father in prayer i'm coming now to thee.

Pray, He is there.
Speak, He is listening.
You are his child,
his love now surrounds you.

He hears your prayer,
He loves the children,
of such is the Kingdom,
the Kingdom of Heav'n