The Help

J and I whenever we have had a tough time in being married we try to chalk it up to a bad day and go on a date together just to change the attitude we have towards each other.  So a marriage tip I find that works for us when days are especially hard is just drop whatever you are doing and go on a date and it just changes your focus and attitude of the day.  We went on a date last night to the movies and I watched a movie that changed my entire life for many reasons.  I find being pregnant it is so easy to see the areas that I am grateful for in my life and this movie was one of them for what it taught.  

My whole entire life I have been asked if I am from many different countries or cultures from being latina, hawaiian, lebanese, italian, and many others.  My mom joked and called me a chameleon because I have a look that whoever I am with I just fit into what the other culture is.  So if you don't know my family personally you would know that all the guesses above are wrong.  I actually am mulatto for I am 25% African American and 75% Caucasian from being French, German, Russian, Scottish, Irish and so on.  My blood is mixed and I cannot claim pride for any one place because through my genealogy I come from all over the world.  

However, as a child I was born with a great sense of pride for having African American blood in me and I have always looked up to Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King Jr.  There is an immense sense of gratitude for tons of individuals who stood up against the expectations of society when they were treated so horribly.  I have often asked myself if I were living a hundred years ago what would I be considered because I wouldn't be considered both.  It would have been in a time where you were either white or you were black and I liked to kid myself into believing that the white society would have accepted me for my light skin but deep down we all know that I would have been considered black.  And that's okay with me.  

Watching the movie "The Help" changed my view of life and I want my children to have a sense of gratitude for where they came from and what their ancestors did so that they could face freedom today.  J has African American blood also and had a great grandmother who was a black slave and I just couldn't imagine living in that time where racism was so prevalent.  Not being able to go to the same bathroom because their germs were different and having to go through pain gruelling work when you only made 95 cents an hour is brutal.  I cried my way through this movie from sadness and pain, through sympathy, and pure joy; coming out with a changed perspective of how much my ancestors went through to give me the free life I have today.  I can go to school, I can use the same bathroom, I can sit down on the bus and know I won't get kicked off because of my color, and I can live wherever I choose.  

I have always wanted my children to have different names because my name was different and I felt special having a big name.  It made big dreams and goals seem just that more achievable because I had such a big name to live up to.  While watching the movie "The Help" I realized that I would be proud to name my children after any one of those strong black women who fought for equality in their own way.  But who also had the strength to look past color of skin and treat the children they raised as their own.  One part of the movie that gave me such  strength, love, and admiration for these women came as Aibileen would hasten to her child that she watched after her mother treated her so horribly and would tell her three things and I think if we all knew these three things and believed them about ourselves we would all be a little bit kinder and treat each other with a lot more respect than is given.  "You is kind, you is smart, and you is important."  

Too many times we all hear how someone is better at doing something than we are and we start to question the beautiful individual qualities that our Father in Heaven gave us.  We forget that we were born with the light of Christ and to be kind.  We don't feel smart all the time because society says unless you hit this level of expectation you're not smart and least of all important unless you a star on tv or on the radio.  But again this is something I am going to tell myself everyday and my family, for if we believe it we will always live it.  "You is kind, you is smart, and you is important"  

So if you want to see a movie that will change your life watch "The help".  You will see a society where they are oppressed and still try to treat those they work for with love and respect.  They try to love their enemies and do good to them.  You hear of how a generation can change their perspectives and attitudes towards being less kind and more hard-hearted where there is a distinct guideline set of those are the "slaves" and we are better than them.  It had both me and hubbins in tears.  My only problem with the entire movie is the language is not the best, which saddens me but if you can look past that you can learn a great deal and this story deserves to be heard, "for we all have a dream."

This song is played at the end of the movie and it literally changes your life because of the words.  Mary J Blige sings this beautifully, "The Living Proof"  

It's gonna be a long long journeyIt's gonna be an uphill climbIt's gonna be a tough fightIt's gonna be some lonely nightsBut I'm ready to carry onI'm so glad the worst is overI can start living now, oohI feel like I can do anythin'And finally I'm not afraid to breatheAnything you say to meAnd everything you doYou can't deny the truthCause I'm the living proofSo many don't surviveThey just don't make it throughBut look at me oohI'm the living proofOh yes I amThinkin' back life's been painfulYes it wasTook a while to learn how to smileSo now I'm gonna talk to my people ohAbout the storm oh about the stormOh so glad the worst is overI can start flyin' now ohMy best days are right in front of meAnd I'm almost thereCause now I am free
Anything you say to meAnd everything you doYou can't deny the truthCause I'm the living proofSo many don't surviveThey just don't make it throughBut look at meI'm the living proofI know where I'm goin' heyCause I know where I've been ohI gotta few stars that showin' heyI'm gonna stay strong keep goin'That's the way that I willAnything you say to meAnd everything you doYou can't deny the truthCause I'm the living proof ohSo many don't surviveThey just don't make it throughBut look at me yeah yeahI'm the living proof
Nothing about my life's been easyBut nothings gonna keep me downCause I know a lot more todayThan I knew yesterdaySo I am ready to carry onOh Lordy mmmm